The Day-After-Christmas Life Lesson Plate – Cooking with Hank

Opening Statement:
If the house is quiet and the fridge light comes on, that’s the universe sayin’, Go on.

Ingredients

• One slab of leftover ham or turkey
  Because Christmas ain’t over till the meat’s gone.
• Mashed potatoes still shaped like the bowl
  That shape is called “memories.”
• Gravy. Cold. Jiggles a little.
  Cold gravy at 2:30 a.m. will tell you who you really are.
• Shredded cheese from a bag opened before Thanksgiving
  If it ain’t moldy, it’s still festive.
• One roll, cookie, or pie bite
  Balance is important when you’re makin’ bad decisions.
• Hot sauce
  Not for flavor. For courage.

Directions

1. Open the fridge slow.
   If you open it fast, it feels like judgment.
2. Stand there starin’ until you sigh and say, “Well…”
   Every late-night recipe starts with “Well.”
3. Grab whatever’s on the middle shelf.
   That’s where the truth lives.
4. Stack it all on one plate like tomorrow ain’t real.
   If you’re usin’ a paper towel, you’re officially bein’ honest.
5. Microwave until the edges are lava and the middle is still December.
   At 2:30 a.m., perfection is suspicious.
6. Add cheese halfway through and hope for the best.
   If it melts, good. If it don’t, you tried.
7. Sauce it heavy and take a bite big enough to regret later.
   Calories don’t count at this hour. They’re asleep.

How to Eat It

• Stand up.
• One foot bare.
• Door still open.
  If you eat it over the sink, it don’t count.
• Chew slow and nod like you learned somethin’.
  If the dog’s watchin’ you eat, you made the right choice.

Hillbilly Wisdom (Sprinkled on Top)

• Leftovers taste better at night because nobody’s watchin’.
• If you say “I’ll just have one bite,” you’re already lyin’.
• Anything can be a sandwich if you believe in yourself.
• If it tastes amazing right now, don’t brag about it in the morning.
• Tomorrow’s resolutions can’t see what you’re doin’ right now.

Closing Statement

Remember folks, at 2:30 in the mornin’, the fridge ain’t just full of food… it’s full of decisions you’ll explain later.

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