Cooking with Hank – more nachos please

RICHLAND CENTER, Wis (WRCO Entertainment) – Welcome to cooking with Hank. Do you have the hunger? If you have half a can of chili, Hank can feed you!

I’m Not Crying, It’s Just Midnight Nacho Madness.

Serves 1 tired legend. Ready in 5 minutes or 2 if you’re panicking.

Ingredients:

• 1 sad handful of tortilla chips (bonus if they’re crushed beyond recognition)
  
• A mound of shredded cheese (measuring is for people in stable relationships)
  
• Half a can of chili (or whatever’s in that container you keep sniffing)
  
• A rogue egg (if it’s not floating, it’s fine)
  
• Hot sauce that may or may not be expired
  
• Leftover pizza crust (optional garnish)
  
• 3 pickle slices (don’t ask — just trust)
  
• Dignity (optional — may not be available at this hour)

Instructions:

1. Stare into the fridge for 4 minutes. Whisper “What am I doing with my life?” at least once.
   
2. Throw chips in a bowl like you’re mad at them. Top with chili, a fistful of cheese, and anything not growing mold.
   
3. Microwave until bubbling. If it explodes — bonus flavor.
   
4. Fry or scramble that egg, unless you’d rather just stare at it until it wins the standoff.
   
5. Slide the egg on top like a professional chef who has emotionally checked out.
   
6. Decorate with pickles, crusts, and a squirt of hot sauce like you’re plating for an imaginary Food Network show called “Alone & Hungry.”
   
7. Eat directly from the bowl, standing in front of the sink like a man who owns his decisions.
   

Midnight Pairing Suggestions:

• Beverage: Flat soda, half a beer, or tap water in a coffee mug
  
• Side dish: Regret  and your Soundtrack: Your fridge humming and the distant howl of your neighbor’s emotional support beagle

---